Don't presume to assume.
Last week I was caught out by doing something that I'm usually very careful
not to do.
As a rule I like to have my facts and figures straight, know both sides of the story.
It can save embarrassment as when I thought, no assumed, that two people I know were a married couple.
They worked together and sometimes went out together.
No, they weren't a couple, he was married to someone else, and very happily I might add, she was single.
My mistake came to light when I met the man's wife, very embarrassing I must say!
Another thing never to assume is that a person you are talking to, doesn't know the person that you are talking about.
Like I did when I said to a man that a certain woman was very fat.
It was his wife!
I have a friend who assumes all the time, I now take what she tells me with a pinch of salt.
Here is just one example, there are many more!
She informed me that my neighbour, whom I knew very well and used to go to the beach with daily, was engaged.
I thought it was very strange that the neighbour hadn't mentioned it.
Oh yes said friend, she is with him all the time,they go out together at night.
One day I was with my friend and we saw the "fiance".
There he is said friend.
There was the neighbour's cousin from America who was staying the Summer with them!
She had assumed two things here, one that he was her boyfriend and the second that they were engaged.
It was at a time in Greece when girls did not go around alone with boys unless they were engaged to them.
See how easy it is for us to assume?
Assuming can also cause you to believe wrong information for the rest of your life.
Never assume when someone answers a question that they have any idea what they are talking about.
Some people are incapable of saying "I don't know" and will tell you anything to avoid doing so!
It took me a while and a lot of confusion to realise this about someone!
It has never been easier in this age of technology and the internet to look things up.
Do not merely take something at face value,
or do something because someone says so,
whether it is one person or a hundred."
A quote from Socrates.
This is very wise advice, if we can try to live by this rule, life will be so much easier.
Assuming can cause stress and needless worry.
How many times do we assume the worst or expect the outcome of a situation to be bad?
All the time, because we didn't ask, we didn't think it through properly or look into it a little bit deeper.
It bewilders me when I see people on Facebook "liking" pictures without knowing or looking up where these pictures originate from.
Pictures are taken from a certain Facebook groups and used in a different context.
People unaware of this(because they didn't check!) click on the picture to "like" and are in effect supporting that group.
Many people I know and have as friends on Facebook would be mortified if they knew that they could be associated with a certain group.
Let's just say that this group is in Britain.
This happens because people take that lovely picture of a cuddly little kitten at face value.
I am even more bewildered by what I did on Facebook, where I am usually so careful.
This is where I was caught out.
I have a "facebook friend", one of those that is not a person but a kind of website, a type of blog.
It's very interesting, updated all the time, I read it a lot, I like it.
This friend was not the problem.
The group that they added me to was.
I had noticed that I had been added by them but didn't check it out right away.
I assumed, yes assumed, that it would be a similar type of subject, something I was interested in.
The name of the group was also a bit misleading, nothing at all in relation to what it actually was.
Not a bit of it!
After about ten days of being in this group I decided to have a look at it.
Oh my goodness, for about ten whole days I had been in a group of lunatics. All thirteen thousand of them!
I read the "about" bit.
A secret group, right, yes, public on Facebook.
No two members knew who any of the other members were, right, yes, you could see the names of all thirteen thousand members if you wished.
They are "saving" the world against something, they have been "saving" it since ancient times.
It was more or less something of a cult.
Now don't go assuming it was something religious, it wasn't.
For anyone out there who had noticed that I was a member of these nutters, I have" unjoined", it was a mistake.
It happened because I assumed!
I must look at Facebook settings, I'm sure there is a way I can block people from adding me to things without my permission.
Something I should have done when I joined up with Facebook.
I shall have to see if I still have the book "the four agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.
I read it about ten years ago, when it was all the rage.
One of the four agreements is
"don't make assumptions."
All that remains is for me to dedicate this song to the "secret" group!
Never assume that you can't do something without giving it a go.
You might just surprise yourself!